The Weekly Wiper: YOU INAUGURATE ME!

The Weekly Wiper

SPECIAL EDITION

Pre Inauguration Issue

Five Presidential Types Discuss the Future of the Country

The Weekly Wiper has been pondering the use of a number, a number of dollars. A trillion dollars.

$ 1,000,000,000,000.00

The average income in Louisiana is $24,084.00, thus it would take this average guy ONLY 41,521,341 years, 9 months, and 12 days or given the average life span in this fair state(which ranks 47th in the US), 579,098 lifetimes to earn a cool trill, before taxes.

THEN LET'S ASK CARL SAGEN, the noted and dead astronomer/physicist and author of a book written for dumb-asses on the U N I V E R S E.

WW: Carl, how's things? Slow I bet, you being a dead atheist and all.

Carl: "Very slow, dark, cold, and lonely, nobody even thinks about me since that Steven Hawkin guy got famous with his talking wheelchair."

WW: Still bitter, uh?

Carl: "Hell, I died of pneumonia, look at him".

WW: We're pondering the size of the number, one trillion, 1,000,000,000,000, in dollars. Can you give us some prospective?

Carl:"We live on a hunk of rock and metal that circles a humdrum star that is one of 400 billion other stars that make up the Milky Way Galaxy which is one of billions of other galaxies which make up a universe which may be one of a very large number, perhaps an infinite number, of other universes."

WW: So what's a trillion?

Carl: "Billions and billions?"

WW: Thanks anyway, Carl, let us take a stab at it:

If you laid one dollar bills end to end, you could make a chain that stretches from earth to the moon and back again 200 times before you ran out of dollar bills.
One trillion dollars would stretch nearly from the earth to the sun.
It would take a military jet flying at the speed of sound, reeling out a roll of dollar bills behind it, 14 years before it reeled out one trillion dollar bills.
One trillion dollar bills would weigh 2,204,000 pounds. A weight that the Federal Government can easily throw around.
If you had gone into business on the day Baby Jesus was born, and your business lost a million dollars a day, day in and day out, 365 days a year, it would have taken you until October 2737 to lose just ONE trillion dollars.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The New Prez is getting a something of a down grade on his ride... General Motors was just about out of cash but at least got it running....This presidential limo has rear auxiliary power, that runs...

ON BULLSHIT!

And please do not make fun of "his" wheels look at the response to this posting:

Looks like a thug ride

Posted by: Donna | Jan 7, 2009 6:46:54 AM

Hey Donna, ufck you! He's your president now, deal with it! Its not a thug ride you hateful bitch! It's amazing that even after winning the presidency and beating the snot out of McPalin you people (yeah, at least I called you..."people") can still manage to undermine a man with more education and backbone than your whole imperialistic regime! How about you go out, meet more people, get punched in the pale face by a few thugs, then come back and run your fat lips online! Be sure to address him as President thug when he lowers your taxes, dumb a$$!

Hey sirlanse, ride a ufcking bike, or just make more money, then you too can enjoy the fruits of 10mpg, and luxury tax..its awesome! Maybe you could manage to make enough bread to get laid in your new fancy wheels too instead of raiding your moms latest shipment of skin so soft!

Posted by: it's09 | Jan 7, 2009 7:46:42 AM

How sweet is victory? WW

Previously the Wiper Reported....and worth another look

OBAMA'S FIRST PRESIDENTIAL

INITIATIVE ANNOUNCED...

"PIMP MY RIDES"

Sean "Puffy" Combs, style advisor and Spike Lee, movie and communications director for the new White House announced this morning that Obama will require updates "oh-fa-show" to the line of presidential rides, "cuz we be geese", that is; planning to travel long distances to

"bo-yaa" some foreign leader "wit a chip on they shoulder" and get crunked. Snoop Dogghas been appointed to serve as the presidential "advance team coordinator" for all travels. Snoop said, " It's my job making sure the Prez don't get "ganked by a wizzle, and his dime-piece is da shiznit."

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GET UP TO SPEED WITH THIS LINK: MY ONLINE RAP DICTIONARY

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In a NEW YORK TIMES EDITORIAL, the paper indicated its dissapointment when they learned, despite initially reporting that Obama's first

"ONE ON ONE" meeting with a foreign leader in conflict with the U.S. was to be with the cigar-huffing communist, Fidel Castro in Havanna, Cuba, with no preconditions, was actually scheduled with Will Castro of Unique Autosports in Holbrook, NY. to pimp some new presidential rides.

When pressed for information regarding the new president's preferences with regards to rides, Mr. Castro stated, "...Well the Secret Service has their requirements and knows best what works for them, but when they suggested the uncannily familar 1961 Lincoln X-100... ...I had to "steer" the President-elect in another direction. Hell, Barrack was less than 3 years old in '63 when they last popped a cap in a democrat president, how was he to know? At Unique Autosports we came up with several better ideas for the new rides...."